singalongsong

she’s back and that’s all that matters :)

picked up orangemoon enroute to dinner with jc on thurs. standard khalil soulboy tunes. great for cruising/chilling. maybe leehom’s new cd if im feeling rich later.
Dinner was… forced to say the least. I tried… but whatever he was saying just couldn’t filter in. maybe I was too damn tired from school or I was too preoccupied with the saltiness of my miso ramen. so yah, whatever he said I just couldn’t muster up an appropriate response.
note to self: never to be a nice person and say yes just because I feel bad. It could have been 2 hours well spent.
he’s a nice person. really simple and downtoearth. but I find it might be hard to even become good friends with him. apart from the dearth of conversation topics… he’s too intense for me la (there, im spouting contradictory terms again. first simple then intense). im very whatever, there’s no reason why I like a particular song, no reason why I want to eat my mum’s stewed duck for my last meal. I just feel like it. That’s it.

Prep for the final mb is making me very antsy.
I abhor how this whole thing is nothing but a show. The more wayang u are the more u score, even though ur content is absolute rubbish, as long as u sound convincing ure in.
Not a very good showman. I cringe at dramatising my words/actions.
Make a simple action of looking at someone’s infusion pump a 3second dance. Stating the obvious when its staring at u in the face.
Bloody hell. 4.5yrs and suddenly I think maybe im not cut out for this.

A great many plans for post-mb.
The idea of being able to wake up in the morning with absolutely NO plans for the day is one huge plan in itself. Spontaneous drives up to Dempsey to check out jones/culina, one entire afternoon of baking. Seriously can’t wait. Think this beats any holiday overseas.
Then there’s my deal with megamac, which I hope he’s working hard at. 10kg and a half dozen choc lava cakes and a lot more baked treats! yay-ness.

I want to pass.
I have to pass.
Even if this means I have to sell the very essence of my being and turn into this preening showboat

I will do it.