post mb

so the past few nights have been spent tossing in bed
mind racing

haven’t really been meeting up with long lost friends like i said i would.
i don’t know… the uncertainty of it all scares me
everytime i read “congrats!” on my sms-es i cringe.
so imagine my expression, when i meet up with friends and they say it. to my face.
then what happens if i don’t make it? do they retract their “congrats!”??
can’t deal.
nothing really has been set in stone yet. so it all seems a little premature.

edit: one group is already in the clear. when’s it going to be my turn?

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i woke up at 1pm today
pleased by the sheer nothing-ness on my to-do list
attempted to pack the embattled warzone i call my room.
i can see the colour of my table top now. *beams

been basically honing my homemaking skills (and being a hermit)
dad’s gone on a vegetarian diet for the next 2 weeks
so the grocery basket has been seeing the likes of beancurd, radish, straw mushrooms, oyster mushrooms, potatoes, carrots and erm, dried mushrooms.

today’s beancurd rolls weren’t too bad
tried my hand at making sourplum tea as well.

oh well,
if my mbbs attempt pans out at least i know i’ll make good in a kitchen.

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sometimes i ponder
the whole point of life.
when we die… where does the very essence of our being go?
i find it hard to believe that everything just ceases to be the moment one leaves.
80odd years of building memories, forging bonds, evolving → *poof

life comes full circle.
from clean-as-a-squeak babies to be returned to the ground, untainted when we die.
wiped clean.
then everything else in between, does it matter?

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hopefully plans for hk work out!
need my distraction